Stuck

What is one change that would make your life better? 

The Bible tells a story in Mark 5 about a woman with a chronic medical condition that brought her much heartache and loss. But this woman was tenacious. For 12 years she refused to give up, despite the fact that her condition had gone from bad to worse while she was bankrupted by a parade of ineffective doctors. One day she pushed her way through a crowd and touched the edge of Jesus’s clothing in her desperate hope to be made whole. In a single moment, her years of persistence paid off, and she was healed.

Many of us lack even a fraction of that woman’s tenacity. We may know that a change is needed in our lives, but we fail to translate that knowledge into action. We remain mired in mediocrity or even misery instead of pursuing life-altering change.

What keeps us stuck? Here are seven reasons why we may fail to pursue the changes we need—and seven steps we need to take to move forward.

Fear of Failure. We sometimes prefer to remain where we are rather than to risk failure. We need to develop the courage to accept failure as a normal and necessary step toward success.

Lack of Knowledge. We may fail to act because we don’t know what to do or how to do it. We need to educate ourselves about our choices and then consider our options and develop a clear strategy for moving forward. 

Lack of Resources. We sometimes fail to act because we lack resources (or believe we lack resources) such as money or time or social support. We need to develop strategies for obtaining the resources we need. 

Lack of Energy. We may feel so tired or depressed that we simply can’t seem to muster the energy to take action. We need to develop strategies for increasing our energy so we can do the things we want.

Lack of Motivation. We sometimes fail to act because we really don’t want to change. Maybe we gain hidden benefits from remaining in our current situation. Or maybe we are afraid of change. We need to become honest with ourselves about what we truly want and why we truly want it. 

Lack of Focus. We may fail to act because we don’t focus long enough to build habits in our lives that will lead to lasting change. We need to build strategies to help us focus on a goal for an extended period of time and create accountability to help us stay on track.

Focus on the Wrong Goals. We sometimes don’t do the things we need to do because we are busy trying to control people or things we can’t control instead of focusing on things we can control. For example, many couples come to counseling expecting to change each other rather than expecting to change themselves. We need to concentrate our energies on changing our own lives and to leave people and situations that are outside of our control up to God.

What’s your reason for inaction? What do you need to do to get unstuck?

(Posted by Jim Gant, PhD)

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