Don’t Hate Your Feelings

Christians sometimes demonize feelings, implying or stating outright that feelings are not to be trusted. They write and speak about the importance of "facts over feelings." Christians often elevate thoughts over feelings and may stretch biblical "proof" texts to demonstrate that we are supposed to think rather than to feel. However, our thoughts aren't necessarily more trustworthy than our feelings. Like feelings, our ability to think and clearly assess facts has been corrupted by sin and mortality. 

The problem with squelching our feelings is that feelings often do reflect facts. God seems to have built feelings into our bodies to alert us to changes in our environment and in ourselves. Although basing our actions entirely on our feelings would be foolish, we need to manage our feelings rather than to stamp them out like unwanted insects.

Feelings certainly can be difficult to reign in. We sometimes react too strongly to cues in our environment. We may fume at the smallest of perceived slights and react with terror to what amounts to nothing more than a shadow.

Counseling can help you feel better. That is, counseling can help you understand and manage these behind-the-scenes processes at work in your body (i.e., your feelings) that impact your thoughts and actions. You can learn to recognize the cues your body gives you that set the stage for misguided thoughts and problem behaviors. You can learn to shift out of feeling states so that you are no longer ruled by unhelpful feelings. This step is important because taking "every thought captive" (2 Cor. 10:5) becomes much easier when we recognize the feelings that influence those thoughts.  

You don't need to stop feeling. You need to feel...better.

 (Posted by Jim Gant, PhD)

Thoughts or questions about this post? Email the author.